Fortune Cookies

A lot of people that go out to eat at Oriental Restaurants will take a fortune cookie or two at the end of their meals, crack them open, read their fortune, and either eat the cookie (or not) and forget all about it. I actually have a set of rules when I find a fortune come my way.  They are as follows:
  1. Only accept one fortune per day. Even if it comes in a cookie.
  2. Share your fortune with as few people as possible immediately after you receive it.
  3. Think long and hard about how that fortune applies to your life.
  4. Carry that fortune with you as long as you can before another replaces it or until you lose the paper it came on.
This is just how I've always handled fortunes when I receive them because I believe I take them more serious than most people probably do. If anyone of you out there know about stuff going on in my personal life right now you would probably know that I'm going through some tough times. It really made me feel good last night when I received this fortune:
YOU ARE PRECIOUS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
This made me feel good because I know it's true. I keep my friends and family close to my heart always because they mean more than anything else to me. So I would just like to take this time to thank all of my friends and family for being there to support me throughout the years. It really means a lot to me though I may not express it all the time. I love you all.

Relationship Advice

I cannot say that I've really had much experience with dating because whenever I really choose to take a girl out I decide after the first date whether or not I want to see her again. So far I've been pretty successful seeing that I've only been in two long-term relationships. I'm only just starting my third. I always make sure to think hard about whether it will be something I will enjoy or not before going with it. The thing is I only know what dating is like from my point of view. I wish I could understand the position that women are put into when they start dating a guy. What is it that determines whether a girl will accept a first date or even a second one? When I look at some of the relationships that surround my every day life I think I can say that the selection processes for everyone is completely different no matter whether it is a guy or girl.

Unfortunately the rest of this article will be directed at the many girls who choose guys that they should have never even thought twice about. Over the past few months I've been introduced to some guys that my female friends have recently started dating and I cannot say that I'm impressed. Now these girls are really good friends of mine and I would never want them to think that I think any less of them but some of these newly formed relationships are ridiculous.

My mother raised me to never disrespect a girl. To this day I don't believe that I ever have. The reason I bring this up is because it angers me when I see these guys that they agree to a relationship with treat them horribly. Instead of making the decision to call it off with these monsters they choose to make their own lives miserable. Jealousy and lack of communication are only small issues that every relationship will go through at one point in time or another, but cheating and verbal or physical abuse is where a line is crossed.

Here is a thought: if you had a friend that was being cheated on or abused you would recommend they call it off, wouldn't you? So I don't get why some of the same girls who would answer this question 'Yes' would choose to ignore this great advice to continue being treated that way.

Here is a recommendation: listen to those who you are closest with, those who you love, or those you call your friends or your family. They are the ones that will almost always be there. They are looking at things from the outside and as much as you don't want to believe it, they see how unhappy you are. They see the tears that smear your make-up. They know what the best long-term decision is. If you betray them then you are putting your relationship with that friend or family member on the line for someone who could never be there for you the same way.

The bottom line is no one enjoys the drama you bring into their lives. You need to realize that you are not a reality TV star on MTV with millions of viewers sitting at home in front of their televisions feeling sorry for you. You are being an attention whore that is slowly losing all of your friends one issue at a time.

My philosophy when it comes to life is that you should live your life without any regrets. It is okay to make mistakes, but learn from them. That way you won't have to regret making that same mistake a second time. Make decisions that will make you happy. Don't regret making the decision to do something you don't want to do. Of course you don't want to be so selfish that you ruin your relationships with friends and family, but you shouldn't allow people to walk all over you either. This way, when you are old and lying on your death bed and your life flashes before your eyes, you'll pass with a smile on your face rather than with a tear in your eye.

UPDATE
The morning after I wrote this entry I was listening to the Lex and Terry show on the radio and a girl had called in. She was looking for advice from the guys because she started dating this guy a few months ago and he went on vacation with his ex-wife to go visit his parents. His explanation was that the baby is too attached to his mother so she had to go with him.

Now Lex and Terry gave this woman some pretty decent advice, but after they dropped her off the air they made a point that I wish that all women could have listened to. They said that they have a feeling that this girl is going to go back to this guy because she WANTS to believe him.

Ladies, please stop wanting and hoping for a guy is going to change for the better because they just aren't. If you see any signs of a relationship going in a bad direction that is your opportunity to find a way out. This is why you date before marriage. So you can see if you really want to spend the rest of your life with this person. If you are being hurt and you choose to remain in that relationship you are choosing to keep getting hurt. As mentioned in my original post, make every decision in your life in a way that makes you happy. Look past what you want to happen and see the real picture. That is all.

Keep Your Personal Problems At Home

There is something that has always bugged me about every job that I've ever had. Have you ever noticed that there is always one person who consistently brings their personal problems to the workplace and makes an incredibly awkward situation amongst everyone? I'm a firm believer that you should always keep your personal life and what happens in the workplace completely separated. If there is something that is honestly going to affect your productivity at work there are sick days for that.

This is something that has recently come up so often at my current place of employment that I've decided to discuss it here. This individual started working with me several months ago and it seems like making awkward situations is the only thing he is good at. Shortly after he started working in the office he started to receive personal phone calls where he would start yelling at whoever was calling him. I'm not sure who it was that was trying to speak with him but he really made the rest of us feel really uncomfortable yelling at the caller. The ironic thing is, he has upset several clients who have spoken with him over the phone about work-related things as well. The truth is, not a lot of people enjoy having this person around, and these feelings may have spread around the entire department and not just our team as well.

He has also come to work crying as well. I don't want to sound like I'm not sympathetic towards his situation but he wouldn't share why he was crying with anyone but me until everyone left the office. He told me his dog had gotten really sick and he just found out that they were going to have to put it down. Now I know what it's like to lose a dog that you've grown up with. My parents called me several months to let me know that my dog Dottie had passed away in her sleep after around 13 years. It was one of the most sad days of my life. But if I had to go to work after hearing this news I would call in, explain my situation, and take the day off. It would be better for you and the people you work with to avoid the awkward situation where no one knows how to approach the situation.

These are just two examples of things that have come up and I feel sorry that he has personal issues that he needs to work out. But please, if you have personal issues to work out, do it on your own time. It is very unprofessional and kind of embarrassing. It is reasons like this is that work is always a place to gossip!

The Lifeblood of Any Organization: Recruitment

During my college career I spent three and a half years in a Greek letter fraternity. During that time something we discussed weekly was RECRUITMENT. I've decided to write about this now because if I was still a college student I would be participating in fraternity recruitment right now.

First off, I'd like to say that many organizations take a completely incorrect approach to recruitment. I know from my experience that one of the biggest methods of recruitment at the University of Central Florida was with bribes. Now I'm not saying that anyone is offering a brand new Corvette for joining their organization. It was always little things that never seemed to make sense to me.

Before I go any further let me explain how recruitment at UCF works. Fraternity Recruitment is pretty much every day all year round. Officially it is normally the second week of classes on Wednesday through Friday every fall and spring semester from around 6-11pm on Greek Row and at a park across the street for the fraternities without houses so they can set up tents. This is unofficially called Formal Rush. All students at the University are invited out to come meet the members of each organization where they may or may not be extended a bid. A bid is an invitation to join the Pledge or New Member Program. This is the one and only time that the new recruits are supposed to meet and hang out with the members of the organization.

During the period of Formal Recruitment each organization's goal is to make the best impression and to look the most attractive so they can get the most high quality recruits. Let me repeat that - the goal is to make the best impression and to look the most attractive so they can get the most high quality recruits. Simply put, you must look impressive and give your potential members a reason to want a membership.

Most fraternities bribe these potential candidates for membership with food. Everyone has to either order a hundred pizzas to hand out slices, or bring a grill out to barbecue, or ask the ladies that come around to make baked goods. Another bribe I've heard is that you can compete with the other new members for scholarships. Some guys have even gone as far as promising to spend time with a particular girl or two if they get to wear the letters. That is completely unethical and disrespectful! Do not bribe potential members with competitions for money or with promises you cannot keep. Give them a real reason to want to join and stick around for the next four years.

Now the Greek system at UCF is an unhealthy one. There are twenty five (social) greek organizations on campus. There are twelve houses. Only four of those houses are occupied by fraternities. How do all of these fraternities without houses keep recruiting?

Luckily it is because dues cost a lot less when you do not have a house. Each organization is required to have a certain amount of insurance coverage by their headquarters and by the University. When your organization does not have it's own house, that insurance costs less. This is something that potential members always ask about at recruitment. The problem is you are still competing with other fraternities that have that same opportunity!

So here are my views on how to attract new members to come to recruitment and how to impress them so much that they decide to join and stick around. First off, make yourselves look good. It is always good to dress to impress, but if any one person looks sloppy then it will bring the entire organization down. Fraternity guys are supposed to be improving themselves to become men. So put a shirt and tie on and go out there with a smile on your face. If you don't look happy to be there why would they?

It is always a good idea to have some type of music playing. It is there to make the location seem like the place to be. It can also bring up some opportunities to discuss music if you find they enjoy a particular song. The music doesn't need to be any particular genre and it should only be loud enough to be considered as background music. That is its primary purpose. It is mainly there to make the awkward situations seem less awkward. Bands are cool but they are for parties. They key to recruitment is being able to communicate with people. If music is blasting out of your tent then the potential members will stay far enough away so that it is only background music to their ears.

Another important thing is to always bring as much as you can to show off your your organization. Items such as awards, trophies, posters, banners, pictures, videos, and even information pamphlets are great. Decorations help out too. If you've got a large sign or big wooden letters then display them. The bigger they are, the better they will make you look. And make sure not to display anything that is obviously ugly or broken.

The last item I will bring to attention going to be listening and communication. Find out if there are any similar interests between the two of you and discuss them. Make sure you are doing around thirty to forty percent of the talking too. You don't want to come off as shy. You are supposed to be social, but at the same time you do not want to overload your recruit with too much information at once.  If your candidate is participating in conversation that shows signs of comfort. If you're doing all the talking then you are forcing your recruit to process too much information at once which can be intimidating.  Just make sure to have fun and meet new people. If you are not seeing a positive light then part ways or introduce him to another recruiter who you think might be able to spark something based on what you've already discussed.

If any member of an organization comes across this post I hope you find it helpful and I hope you consider using these strategies to get your organization the best new members. It is these candidates that will be there when you are gone and that is how your organization stays alive after all.

I've Got It All Figured Out

Now that I'm a college graduate and I've all of a sudden got all this free time on my hands I've been doing a lot of thinking. Most of it has been about how I've been living my life. I guess now that I've reflected on the last few years I've decided that I'm very proud of my success, but I'm not happy with the attitude or my personality that I've had.

I thought they were joking when some of the people who have been very close to me called me a 'Negative Nancy," but I've started to realize that it just might be true. I've started to realize how often I complain about things that don't matter.

Today I can say I have some of the best friends I could ask for and we have some of the most fun I've ever had in my life. It's because of the great times I have with them that I've started to see a more positive light. We can do almost anything from going to a theme park to sitting in someone's living room watching the tube and I feel grateful for the friendship that we share together.

I hope that I can continue to have a positive outlook on my life and continue the great relationships that I have with my friends and most importantly I hope that I can continue to bring success to my life. With these three ingredients still in tact they will hold each other in place and I have no doubt that I will continue to be successful in life.